was a real eye-opener, MacIndoe says. I was blown away that I couldnt really run. It was like an out-of-body experience, both discouraging and motivating. But as painfu

Graham MacIndoe has a routine. Every day before work, he runs six miles. He doesnt listen to music because it distracts him from his thoughts.?Its a spiritual thing for me, MacIndoe said. I get in a zone and reflect on my life -- where Ive been, what Ive done and whats important.The 53-year-old is reminded of where hes been and what hes done whenever he glances at his left forearm, which is peppered with tattoos. The words mum and dad are inked above his wrist, just below a 7-inch protruding track mark on his inner forearm. The faded purple mark is the byproduct of a vein darkening from scarring. Its associated with long-term heroin use.Im never allowed to forget, said MacIndoe, who struggled with addiction for a decade. Sometimes its startling, but [the mark] grounds me and reminds me of somewhere I dont want to return to.In 2000, MacIndoe entered a black hole of addiction and lost nearly everything. He pushed away his family and his friends. Time spent in prison was the wake-up call he needed. Its what helped free him from his addiction. And when he emerged from it all, he rediscovered his passion for running.MacIndoe started running at age 18 in his hometown of Broxburn, Scotland, located on the outskirts of Edinburgh. Mostly it was social -- he often ran with friends in baggy soccer shorts and cheap sneakers in rural fields, until he decided to get more serious and joined a local running club. He and his younger brother Fraser trained and raced together.He was absolutely committed to running, Fraser said. His life was totally clean. He was pretty much a vegetarian and never really drank. It seemed like he was addicted to running.MacIndoe sometimes trained twice a day alongside local elite Scottish runners. When he wasnt engaged in interval sessions on a grass track, he joined the group for long runs of up to 16 miles around the countryside on weekends.Running was my first love. It was something I was at one with, said MacIndoe, who chronicles his experiences in his first book, Chancers: Addiction, Prison, Recovery, Love: One Couples Memoir, co-authored by his partner, Susan Stellin.But he pushed the sport away after he graduated from college and moved to New York City -- a place he had always wanted to live -- in 1992. At the time, he worked at a photography gallery to support his then-wife and his son, who was less than 2 years old. They divorced, then he remarried. But the deeper he got into his career, which transitioned to commercial photography, the more he started to drink and fall into a certain lifestyle.His second wife left a couple of years later. He replaced alcohol with drugs. Cocaine at first, then crack and eventually heroin, a habit that was easier to hide while he was going through another divorce and attempting to climb out of depression. ?As addicts, were selfish, MacIndoe said. The damage to other people in your life is phenomenal. When you start to realize that, thats when you realize your recovery is not just about you.MacIndoe and Stellins relationship developed during the height of his addiction in 2006. He would hide a syringe in his eyeglass case, but his desire to use trumped any efforts to shield his habit. Stellin, who had never had a drug problem, once found MacIndoe passed out on his couch with a crack pipe in his fist.When Fraser would visit New York, he said he would encourage his brother to get back into running so it could be a positive focus in his life again, something to look forward to every day. But, he said: The drugs had such a hold on him. It was a downward spiral for many years.MacIndoe was arrested for heroin possession in 2010 after he was caught by an undercover cop at a coffee shop in Brooklyn. He had hidden a crack pipe in his sock. MacIndoe was locked away at Rikers Island, where he spent the first few days of his four-month stay dope sick.Theres nothing I can do to avoid what I know is coming, he writes in the book. When people ask what its like to go through heroin withdrawal, I tell them to imagine the worst flu theyve ever had, add a bad case of food poisoning, mix in a deep depression, and top it off with a good kicking. Now multiply everything by ten.MacIndoe has been clean since he was sent to Rikers Island six years ago. After Rikers he was moved to York County Prison in Pennsylvania, where he was held in immigration detention. He took part in the Freedom Program, intense rehab that included cognitive behavioral therapy, along with other individual and group counseling throughout the day, every day. This, he says, is what really helped him kick his addiction.It took me a long time to understand that addiction is a really complex problem that theres no one size fits all solution to, Stellin said.MacIndoe was close to being deported, but a judge ultimately ruled to let him stay in the U.S. because he participated in a rehab program, remained clean and stayed out of trouble. He was released from immigration detention in 2011 and moved back to Brooklyn.When I was in my addiction, I made a lot of promises that I never followed through with, he said.Those promises included telling people he was trying to quit, that it was his last time using, that he wasnt going to hang around the wrong influences. One also included getting back into running. He wasnt physically capable during what he describes as the most debilitating period of his life.After prison, running became a more important part of my recovery, he writes in the book. It was a way for me to put what I learned in the Freedom Program into practice: stepping back, thinking more rationally, not overreacting. Its hard to explain, but running gave me that release.At first, 400 yards felt painful. His heart would beat uncomfortably fast, though he was far from a 5:30-minute mile pace that he used to maintain with ease as a young adult.It was a real eye-opener, MacIndoe says. I was blown away that I couldnt really run. It was like an out-of-body experience, both discouraging and motivating. But as painful as it was, it brought back memories of when I was a teenager and gave me a feeling of that thing I loved.The transition back into running took several months before he started to feel comfortable. Twice weekly runs of two miles increased to three days, four miles. He eventually worked his way to running about six days a week for six miles at a time, and usually more on weekends.He didnt just want to run though. MacIndoe says it was a need. He used running as a way to purge doubt and cultivate confidence, which he credits for helping get his career back on track. As an adjunct photography professor at Parsons School of Design, MacIndoe is also a freelance commercial photographer.Hes the best version of himself now, Fraser said. He realizes how bad of a place he was in and is grateful that hes been given a second chance to live his life again, which for many years he thought hed never get. Hes making the most of it. Air Jordan 1 Uk . Halifax beat the Saint John Sea Dogs 7-5 on the strength of two goals apiece from Nikolaj Ehlers, Matt Murphy and Brent Andrews. Jonathan Drouin also scored and had three assists while Zachary Fucale made 17 saves for the Mooseheads (16-8-0), who led 6-1 after two periods. Cheap Air Jordan 1 Wholesale .C. -- Charlotte Bobcats coach Steve Clifford said after all of these years in the NBA hes still amazed at some of the things LeBron James does. http://www.airjordan1uk.com/ . 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SAN ANTONIO -- Ryan Metzs 6-yard TD pass to Warren Redix in the fifth overtime lifted UTEP over Texas-San Antonio 52-49 on Saturday night and ended the Miners five-game losing streak.It was the first five overtime game in Conference USAs history.Metz threw two of his three TDs after regulation, including a 25-yarder to Aaron Jones in the second OT.In the fourth OT, UTEP (2-5, 1-3) fumbled the snap at the Roadrunners 3-yard line and the ball was recovered by UTSAs Kevin Strong Jr. The Roadrunners Victor Falcon then missed a 42 yarder to force overtime five.ddddddddddddFalcon made a 33 yarder in the fifth OT to put UTSA (3-4, 2-2) up 49-46.UTEP twice rallied from 14-point deficits to tie the score at 14 in the second quarter and at 28 in the third.Metz was 15 for 23 passing and 211 yards. UTSAs Dalton Sturm was 18 for 34 for 214 yards, 3 TDs and an interception. ' ' '